Being Alone Isn’t So Bad
There was in a time in my life, not so far in the past, that the thought of being alone terrified me.
I can remember being 19 years old and proclaiming to my mother that I would never live alone, and she should get used to me being around until I was married.
This of course was when I believed I would be married by 23, but nevertheless being alone has always scared, no petrified, me.
That is until I realized how liberating being alone can be.
If I want a bowl of cereal for dinner I eat the dang cereal.
If I want to watch Gilmore Girls for 4 hours on a Saturday, I watch it.
If there are dishes in the sink I have no one to blame but myself. I
t's an absolute game changer when you realize that you have no one to worry about but yourself.
“I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel."- Audrey Hepburn
This may sound extremely selfish, and some of you may be thinking, "No wonder she's single. She's a selfish brat!", but to be honest, maybe you're right.
Maybe I am too selfish to be in a relationship.
With that being said, I choose to disagree with you.
Mr. Ex was one of the most selfish people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, and it is safe to say that I am far from his level of selfishness.
I am 25, single, and have no children.
This is what life is about!
It's about waking up and doing whatever you want, whenever you want!
I spend 5 days, sometimes 6, at work pleasing other people, and working on someone else's timeline. Heaven forbid if I want to take my entire Saturday and spend it on myself!
I love to shop. It's what I do. It's part of who I am. Some of my favorite afternoons are just myself and my Starbucks running around town visiting my favorite locally owned shops, and of course TJ Maxx.
Nothing is more pleasing to me than realizing that I do not have to consult anyone on my shopping trips. I don't have to worry if they are ready to go, if they found what they were looking for, or if they like what I am buying.
It's all about what I want!
This rings true in other aspects of my daily life.
I will be the mother of a beautiful female goldendoodle in just a few short months, and I alone will be responsible for this child.
From her name (I'm thinking Aspen or Berkley), to her training, she is my responsibility. There is no one to fuss at when her schedule is messed up, no one to argue with about names, and best of all no one she has to share her love with.
More important than eating popcorn at 10pm on a Friday, spending 2 hours at Tj Maxx, or naming a dog, in order to be ready to share your life with another person you need to know what YOUR life is.
If I didn't have MY life how would I share it?
I wouldn't.
There would be nothing to share because I would have nothing of my own. Beyond that, a relationship isn't one person giving up their entire life to seamlessly fit into someone else's, but it's about bringing two lives together and keeping the best parts to share.
When I was with Mr. Ex my whole life revolved around him. I wanted to do so many things, but they never fit in HIS schedule or HIS life, so they never happened.
For example: I put off going to graduate school so he could finish his degree first, and a year and a half later and only 3 courses to go, he still has 3 courses to go. I, however, will graduate next December with my MAEd. Sure, it took us breaking up for me to take this step, but I did it. Who cares what pushed me to do it?
My point is this: life is about making yourself happy first.
Strengthen your relationship with yourself, and God if you’re a believer, and then someone else can find a way in. I know what makes me happy, and I know what I like to do, but I wouldn't have figured out all of these things had it not been for these past 8 months of singleness.
When a man comes into your life and appreciates that you have your own life, then maybe he will be worthy of sharing your 10pm Friday night popcorn and puppy snuggles with.
Love,
Lilly
