When You Just Can’t Make it Work

Like a lot of things in life: messy buns, skinny jeans, winged eyeliner, pattern mixing, if you have to force it,  just stop.

Thigh high socks are definitely on this list for me. I love them. I want them to be adorable with shorts, or a mini-skirt in the fall. Unfortunately, my short, thick legs are not meant to be cut off at mid-thigh by an adorable pair of burgundy colored cable knit socks. I blame Pinterest for making me feel like I could pull this off in the first place, but I'm also glad I figured out when to drop the socks and put on some tights.

This could have been a major disaster.

I also think it's safe to say that some relationships belong in the box right next to our liquid eye liner and overalls, my most recent being an example.

My last relationship was with one of the sweetest men I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. This is so true, in fact, that the morning after our break up I was greeted with homemade breakfast and a kiss on the forehead. There was absolutely nothing wrong with Mr. Boyfriend, as far as the basics go, and we actually had quite a bit in common.

Both of us were teachers, Tennessee fans- this is very important from August to January- coached sports, loved popcorn, and we made each other laugh. There is no reason why we shouldn't have happily dated for a year or two, been properly engaged for at least 6 months, and married for the rest of our lives.

Except for one thing: we couldn't make it work.

I would like to begin by taking most of the blame for this, while attributing it to the heartbreak suffered from my last boyfriend (that's an event I'm nowhere near ready to write about) and the inability to truly move forward. However, some of this blame could be put on Mr. Boyfriend because Mr. Ex was seeming to be a  reoccurring topic of argument with us. I felt that no matter what I said or did he was always going to hold certain things against me. Mr. Boyfriend isn't good at the forgetting part of forgiving.

Is this a classic case of "not being over an ex"?

Probably.

But, it also rings true that if you are with the right person they will make you forget about your past and focus on your future (someone famous probably said this, I'm just paraphrasing).

I wanted so badly to make it work with Mr. Boyfriend. I knew, and still know, how great he really is. My friends loved him. My mother adored him. I liked him.

Still, it was not enough.

Forcing ourselves to try and make this relationship work was causing so much stress and added pressure that I felt at any moment the whole thing would blow up in our faces.

It's like a pair of jeans that are barely too tight; at first it's just a little uncomfortable, but you can make it work. But, after a few hours, you can hardly stand it anymore, so you run to the bathroom and use your hair tie as an emergency button hole. You would have been much better off just putting on the jeans that fit in the first place rather than forcing yourself in an uncomfortable pair of dark washed skinnies just because you really liked them.

Chalk it up to a learning experience, but you know what they say: “If they don't fit they don't fit.”

Period.

Luckily the breakup was extremely amicable, and we proceeded to have an extremely fun night playing quarters and flip cup while listening to the great Kevin Gates.  

However, maybe if we had tried to stop forcing it in the beginning we would have saved ourselves some long winded arguments and even some tears.

"Some say life is a gamble which means love is a casino."- Kevin Gates

I'm not saying we didn't have a great time together, because we did. He's one of the only men I can think of that would willingly sit at a drag show we had no idea was happening and laugh the whole time.

The point is, there were more frustrations and arguments than anything, and that is not a healthy relationship for anyone. Maybe in a few months we can try and make it work again. I mean there's no reason those dark washed skinnies won't fit after a month or two of healthy diet and exercise.

If you ask me where I see my relationship with Mr. Boyfriend going I would have to say I have no idea. We are working on remaining friends at this point, possibly for it to work out down the road, but that's not something either of us can be sure of. 

Mr. Boyfriend knows I care about him, and I am aware that he cares for me, but like the winged eyeliner afore mentioned, just because you want to channel your inner Adele doesn't mean you should.

Know when to put the eyeliner down and walk away.

Love,

Lilly