How I Learned to Cook in My 30s
There are many ways I have failed as a good southern woman.
I don’t like sweet tea. I didn’t get married in my 20s. I don’t own any monogrammed towels. I didn’t register for china, and the list goes on from there. Out of all of those things, the worst offense is probably the fact that, up until recently, I couldn’t cook.
My mom is a pretty good cook, and my grandmother is a wonderful cook, but growing up in a single-parent household, Mom just didn’t have the time to sit down and teach me, and it wasn’t exactly like I was asking to learn. Granny definitely never felt inclined to teach, and Mom didn’t learn from her either. In fact, Meme, her neighbor growing up, taught her how to cook. For me, it just wasn’t something I cared about, so it wasn’t something I learned to do.
Fast forward to college, and I survived off of Mondo Subs, Top-Ramen, cereal, and Little Ceasar’s Hot ‘n’ Ready pizzas. Oh, and a shit ton of beer and T-Mart pizza rolls. I was in absolute peak physical shape.
Post-college, I moved back home, so mom was still in charge when I wasn’t eating fast food. I was almost 25 before I ever lived on my own and had to feed myself.
Those first few years really consisted of non-cooking cooking. You know, like the ingredients don’t really need to be cooked, they just kind of go together. A lot of casseroles, pasta, and sheet pan meals were on my weekly menu, but still, I ate out a lot. It wasn’t until I moved to Boston with my now-husband, that I felt the need to actually cook food. Looking back, I don’t know if I told him I could cook, or if he just assumed, but somehow it became my responsibility.
It was a rough couple of years, and honestly, I’m surprised we didn’t starve. Half of what I cooked was barely edible, and none of it really tasted good. I tried to pull recipes from cookbooks, but they were poorly written, and it felt like every recipe was assuming I had knowledge I didn’t. So, when we moved back to Alabama in 2020 I had nothing but time, and I made it my mission to learn how to actually cook food.
I attribute ALL of my “success” to two people: Alex Snodgrass and Teighan Gerard.
I found the @DefinedDish (Alex Snodgrass) on Insta, and I started trying some of the recipes she posted on her blog. I did so with a ton of hesitation and lack of faith, but after 2 or 3 successful meals that actually ended with praise from Lee, I got a little bit of confidence. It didn’t take long for me to buy her first cookbook, The Defined Dish, and within months I had found my groove!
I was understanding how ingredients came together, how to actually heat up a pan, how to time meals with multiple components, and what spices I did and didn’t like (I’m looking at you rosemary). It was the most amazing feeling, and Lee started to tell people what a good cook I was.
My Half Baked Harvest story is also pretty similar, and started with a cookie recipe I found on Teighan’s blog (please view said recipe here). After testing out a few of her recipes I fell in love with her style of food as well! Again, Teighan writes recipes for all levels, and her style makes it really easy for me to sub in things I have on hand, or use a method I know works for me. Outside of an eggplant lasagna disaster, I’ve found my niche in the kitchen, and it feels so good!
I learned that by focusing on a single cookbook author in the beginning I was able to really perfect the few techniques used most frequently. For example, Alex has a great chapter in her book focused on Asian flavors, and most of the cooking techniques for that style of food are similar. By working through each of the recipes I was practicing the same skills over and over, and I was getting better each time. I didn’t even realize this was a thing until about a year in. I’ll also say, I feel like Alex and Teighan have similar cooking styles, so that may be why I like their recipes so much.
Consistency is probably the single most important factor that helped me feel successful in the kitchen, and regardless of what blogger or cookbook author you start with, I suggest trying to stick with their style for at least 6 months. Not only will you gain skills, but you’ll most likely gain the confidence that goes along with that success as well.
Our bestie, Davidson, comes over for dinner a few times a month usually, and he is always so complimentary of my food. While I know he’s like the most gracious guest ever, I really think he means it. I have the confidence to cook for other people now, and I’m not as intimidated by new ingredients or a fun recipe I find somewhere outside of my go-to books. I don’t see myself attempting Julie Child’s beef bourgeon in the next couple of months, but I do have the confidence that I could try it with a pretty good chance for an edible result.
If you’re struggling to feel comfortable in the kitchen social media is a really great place to find some easy recipes that usually have a video to go with them. There’s a reason so many cookbook authors are being found via their blogs or other social platforms: people want easy-to-follow recipes that taste delicious! Sure, professional chefs are amazing to watch, but I’ve always found their cookbooks to be really hard to follow, or filled with recipes that aren’t feasible for a weeknight meal. Learning to cook isn’t easy, but it’s definitely something anyone at any age can learn! It’s like my girl Courtney, Top Chef winner, and my brother say,
“It’s one thing at a time. When you tackle a recipe that’s new to you, take it one ingredient and one step at a time.”
I’m far from perfect, and I won’t be making up recipes for my blog anytime soon, but I can whip up a mean salmon bowl with cilantro lime rice and jalapeno crema, and that’s good enough for me.
What was your journey to learning how to cook? Let me know in the comments, and send over your favorite recipes!
Love,
Lilly
*The links to cookbooks are through an Amazon affiliate link and I receive a small commission for purchases made using the links.
