I’m Back, Maybe…

I haven’t written in well over a year, and to be completely honest it wasn’t a lack of content, but it was fear.

If you know me, you know I was married and filed for divorce within 4 months. Just about everyone was far from surprised, especially after my post about crying for 36 hours straight the day after my wedding, but I digress. When it was all said and done, I was married for less than a year.

I had more going on in the last year of my life than I think I’ve ever had, and I wanted so badly to write about it or talk about it, but I was so scared of people finding out because I just didn’t want the judgment. Not judgment about being divorced, but more so the judgment where people have a lot of questions.

I am not the only one that’s gotten sucked down a rabbit hole at midnight trying to figure out if this girl I knew in college is still married, and if not, when did they get divorced, and do any of my friends know what happened. Sure, there’s a little bit of a smile on my face when I think about someone being that invested in my life, but it’s slightly annoying.

I wanted to share what I was going through, how I was feeling, how I was dealing with it, and everything in between. I’m still planning on it because I think it’s important, but not today. I’m trying to dip my toes back into the water and remember what it’s like to get it out through the keys on my laptop. I never did this because I thought people were reading it. I might have three people who read this a month, and I’m pretty sure one of them is my mother. I do it because it’s cathartic, and in general, I’ve always wanted to write or talk to people for a living. I consider writing a form of talking, so it’s basically the same thing.

Either way, as I sit in the ATL airport for what feels like the world’s longest layover, I’m trying to remember what this feel like, and maybe I’ll be ready to come back. I hope so at least, I really loved this hobby.

Love,

Lilly