Can I be on your wiffle ball team?
Making friends as an adult is hard. Making friends as an adult who isn’t good at making friends, in general, is really hard.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a great group of girls. I have a group that puts everyone else’s to shame, and I honestly feel bad for other people that don’t have my friends. Unfortunately, most of them live at least 3 hours away, and Mandy lives like 18 hours away.
So, while I am grateful to be in the age of cell phones and social media to help me stay connected to the loves of my life, I find myself searching for friends that I can see more than 3x a year. However, that’s much easier said than done.
Making friends sounds like it would be easy, I mean children that can barely talk do it, but honestly, it’s kind of difficult. I mean adults spend the majority of their time at work, and while being friends with your coworker is cool, sometimes it just leads to not actually having anything in common but work, and anyways, I work from home, and my closest co-worker is somewhere in Florida. Not exactly what I was going for.
So, I’ve challenged myself this summer to try and make some friends on my own. Real friends. Friends I talk to and hang out with on a decently frequent basis. I mean, not like every day, because I don’t have that kind of social energy, but like maybe twice a month.
Anyways, here are the ways I’m going to try and make new friends:
Wiffle Ball: Our neighborhood has a wiffle ball league, and while I’ve heard some of the teams are extremely talented, I think it’s going to be a good way for me to test the waters. Sunday I went to an open practice, and I didn’t embarrass myself, so a team actually wanted me. I’m so stoked to be part of Pitches Be Crazy, a team where I know absolutely no one outside of who I met on Sunday. If nothing else, I’ll get some exercise and maybe a tan. It’s a start.
Fitness Classes: Pelaton is my jam. I love my instructors, I mean who doesn’t love Cody? I love the crazy playlists, and I LOVE doing it on my own time, but again, this is a solitary activity. Even if I high-five people for an entire 45 minutes, or ride with the same group each day, I’m not making friends in the way that I need them: AKA people that can physically hang out with me. I’m hoping by going to fitness classes like True40 and Ignite Cycle at least once a week will help me build some relationships with women who are similar to me. I’ve loved my Pure Barre community for years, but I’m excited to test my skills at something new, and hopefully find some great people along the way.
Women’s Small Business Group: This is kind of a new thing for me, but somehow I stumbled upon a women’s small business group that meets once a month in Birmingham. Bringing Go Rings to Birmingham has been a labor of love, and it’s going to be for a while. It’s hard to explain a concept like welded jewelry to people who haven’t heard of it, and it’s even harder to pick up the phone and call someone to try and convince them to let me do a pop-up at their own small business. Luckily. the first meet-up I went to a couple of weeks ago went really well, and I’m hoping it’s something I can continue with. Everyone there was amazing, and it felt good to be around so many ambitious women. I’m already excited about May’s meeting!
The one caveat to these wonderful ideas is I have to be willing to put myself out there. I can go to wiffle ball, but if I don’t try to genuinely make friends it won’t work. I can take my cycle classes, but if I never talk to anyone before or after class, or ask someone to get coffee at the place next door, it won’t work. I can keep going to small business meet-ups, but if I never actually try to foster a friendship outside of that, it won’t work.
I have to put in the effort, and with that, I have to be willing to be rejected.
Making friends at 31 isn't any easier than it was in 5th grade at a brand new school where I knew no one. I’m still in a brand new place where I don’t really know anyone, and I’m really ready to have friends.
Maybe I won’t have another ride or die like I do in Jess and Lynsdi, but I’ll take dinner and drinks, Tuesday morning coffees, or even monthly nail appointments and lunch dates.
If you have tips on making friends as a whole grown up person I would love to know, so drop them in the comments!
Love,
Lilly
